The Yard House-Honolulu

A group of 16 of us had a reservation for dinner after a week long conference. The person who booked this place knew we had twin 4 year olds. Let me begin by saying this, I wasn’t going to review this restaurant but so many things went bad, I felt I owed it to reasonable people to let them (you) all know what to expect.

First, this place is NOT appropriate for children. It is very loud and the louder it got, the louder the staff turned up the music. Imagine not being able to hear the conversation you are having with the person across the table from you, let alone a server trying to take your order. The server. She didn’t really seem that happy as she approached the table. She could barely hear us as we placed our order, hence the mistakes (even though they were small, still mistakes). I ordered the Crab Cakes as an appetizer. I ordered the Fish & Chips for the entree, though I wasn’t really that happy with the accompaniments for the entrees. Who designed this hot mess of a menu…a drunk kitchen manager? The server came back to the table and asked me about my order of Onion Rings. I told her I ordered the Crab Cakes. She acknowledged that she could barely hear me. Being a chef, I do have a kitchen voice and even then she could barely hear me.

My son ordered the burger and salad from the kids menu. What he got was the burger and fruit. Yes, my son loves fruit but he really wanted salad. The Fish I received was so greasy that when I pulled a small piece to taste, my fingers dripped with oil. Here’s what happened. The fryer is constantly being used, so the temperature of the fryer will drop. The more you use it in this fashion, the more the temperature drops. So, when you put a piece of fish in the fryer to cook, the temperature is so low that the fish actually absorbs the oil before frying the batter on the outside. This is a rookie mistake and any good kitchen would not make this mistake.

The sauces that came with my fish; roasted jalapeño tartar and malt vinegar aïoli. Who in their right mind serves roasted jalepeno tartar? This sauce was so hot that not one person at the table who tasted it could handle it (and 5 of us truly love spicy food). One lady even gagged on it (she was one of the 5). Drink service was real slow and drinks were missed…didn’t even make it to the table by the time we were done. A friend of mine ordered his entree with mashed potatoes. Are you kidding me? 3 of us tasted these so-called mashed potatoes. Instant mashed potatoes served in this place…really? The truffle burger ordered by 2 party members so it was okay except that they both said the burger could have used a little lettuce and tomato as the burger was a tad dry.

I am not going to go on as I am sure you all get the gist of this visit. Not good. I will be honest here, though, and say that this place is more suited to the younger, trendier crowd who love to drink, and the food is an after thought. If loud noise and loud music are a deterrent, then this place is not for you. If you don’t really care about the noise factor…this is your place.

No, I would not recommend this place for a more mature group or get together. It gets real loud quick.

2/5 stars

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